WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to inside sources, the Capitol Gift Shop has been inundated with tourists looking for Jan 6 hearing souvenirs leading one irritated employee to tack up a large sign at the entrance to the store reading “NO WE DO NOT SELL BUFFALO HAT SOUVENIRS”. 

Margaret Carrington, descendant of a long line of distinguished Capitol Gift Shop attendants, spoke to reporters on the scene. “Yesterday 567 people requested the darn thing. Everyone from little two-year-old boys to elderly women has been asking where we keep the buffalo hats,” she said as a tear slid down her cheek. “We Americans love our history of revolution, and the Union and Confederate uniforms are big sellers here, but when we put in the order for an Official Commemorative Jan 6 Insurrection Buffalo Hat, Nancy Pelosi denied it just like she denied the request for additional protection of the Capitol for that day.”

“We can always get one on Amazon,” said a boy to his disappointed grandpa.

“People think I do this job for the glory, but I do it for love of country. Our motto is ‘Country, Service, Give Them The Commemorative Trinkets They Want (made in China)’,” she explained.

At press time, Grandpa was seen exiting a back room with Ms. Carrington and holding a large unmarked bag with something suspiciously pointy inside.

Judges at a school spelling bee are stumped and infuriated when a child dares to ask them for a definition of the word “woman.”

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