OAKLAND, CA—In response to the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong has announced he will no longer be an American idiot and will instead just be a regular idiot.
“I hereby renounce my American citizenship,” said the Pfizer and Berkshire Hathaway-sponsored punk-rocker. “I am ashamed to be from America and am ashamed of all the idiots who live there. As of today, I am no longer an American idiot—just a normal non-American idiot.”
At the announcement, the entire audience watching his cruise-ship performance clapped and cheered.
Armstrong’s representatives later clarified he wasn’t actually giving up his American citizenship formally—he was just loudly and publicly renouncing it.
The musicians of Green Day further threatened that if abortion rights weren’t restored in America, they would release another album.
At publishing time, Armstrong announced he is considering North Korean citizenship due to their more progressive abortion laws.
Judges at a school spelling bee are stumped and infuriated when a child dares to ask them for a definition of the word “woman.”