Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Monday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Roger’s penchant for forcing loofahs upon strangers finally caught up with him in a bad way in Poughkeepsie.
Muchas gracias to Chris Queen for taking over the Briefing for a couple of days last week. My whirlwind tour of my sister’s beer refrigerator and swimming pool will soon wrap up, but not before my old friend Kevin Downey Jr. gives this enterprise his personal touch.
When I first learned of the momentous news out of the Supreme Court last Friday, I weighed whether I should dive into social media just to watch the leftist meltdown. I had originally planned to but then opted for diving into the pool, not paying attention to much of anything, and getting a sunburn instead.
Hey, I enjoy hours upon hours of schadenfreude as much as the next guy or gal, but I enjoy not paying attention to the concurrent nervous breakdowns of randos even more. I highly recommend it.
I finally did take a peek at some of the action on Saturday, and even more on Sunday. As we are all well aware, it’s not pretty.
The reactions ran the gamut from America’s Dumbest Bartender belching up her last three brain cells to the most mentally unbalanced progressives sharing their emotional weakness with the world.
Shortly after Roe v. Wade was overturned, a Twitter user with the handle @redfrnn, who has since deleted his or her or xis account, tweeted: “i’m going to assassinate supreme court justice Clarence Thomas.” The same Twitter user had just before that tweeted a photo of a gun, saying: “im considering buying a mac mini.” Twitter, however, did not find this murderous psychopath to be in violation of their rules, despite the fact that those rules say, “You may not threaten violence against an individual or a group of people.” Well, sure. You can’t threaten violence against an individual, but Clarence Thomas, he’s a conservative. And not only does Thomas dare to dissent from the Left’s agenda, but he is one of the most powerful individuals in the country who is actively working against it. So would the Twitter fascists mind if @redfrnn or someone else actually did kill him? It’s unlikely that they’d shed a tear, even for the fallen rule of law in our staggering republic.
On and on it went.
There are pro-abortion people who are upset but not in need of a straitjacket. I know some. In fact, I spoke to one who is very close to me over the weekend. We don’t agree, but we can have a conversation.
Sadly, that’s a rarity.
I won’t share any more of the more common reactions because I don’t want to give the unbridled lunacy any oxygen.
I am not the first to point out that progressives got here by throwing “safe, legal, and rare” in the garbage and deciding to become downright lustful for abortion. It isn’t, and never will be, a good look for humanity. All of the politically spun euphemisms in the world can’t mitigate that seediness. (The worst of them all is “reproductive rights.” The goal is to not let anything be reproduced so…)
The doomsday scenarios that the pro-abortion progs are using to justify their outrage are largely based on statistical anomalies that are so improbable that they’re practically nonexistent, as well as a basic lack of understanding of how federalism works (Thanks, public education!).
They’d like to think that the p***y hat pics and memes on social media are going to magically fix their misbegotten rage. What the most rabid pro-abortion types could really use is some meditation, Xanax prescriptions, and the first steps on the road to being honest with themselves.
Hey, I dream big.
Everything Isn’t Awful
In Texas, these firefighters rushed to a massive house fire.
The family made it out safely but their dog, Slime, was found unresponsive.
The firefighters spent twenty minutes reviving the family pet until the dog was breathing on his own.
— Goodable (@Goodable) June 24, 2022
Around the Interwebz
Smells Like Onion
Yes, you’re long-distance, but that doesn’t mean every now and then you can’t jump on a plane and—hold on, whose pants are these? https://t.co/KqWAWLNTML
— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 26, 2022
The Kruiser Kabana
— Auguste Renoir (@artist_renoir) June 25, 2022
Wait out the ads. This one is SO worth it.