You may think it’s funny that President Biden carries around a cheat card that tells him exactly what to do and when to do it. As it turns out, this is a common technique used by several presidents throughout our nation’s great history. We bet you feel silly now, don’t you?

Here are a few examples of presidential cheat cards through the years:

  • Thomas Jefferson: YOU do not have sexual relations with THAT slave.
  • William Henry Harrison: YOU wear YOUR overcoat or YOU die.
  • Millard Fillmore: Nobody remembers who YOU are.
  • Abraham Lincoln: YOU don’t forget to look behind YOURSELF at the theater.
  • William Howard Taft: YOU are too fat for YOUR bathtub. (Historian’s Note: Taft was notorious for not sticking to the cheat card.)
  • FDR: YOU roll into YOUR seat.
  • Richard Nixon: YOU are NOT a CROOK.
  • Gerald Ford: YOU pardon NIXON. (Historian’s Note: Nixon added this to the bottom of Ford’s cheat sheet in scribbled pencil.)
  • George Bush, Sr.: YOU ask THEM to read YOUR lips.
  • Bill Clinton: YOU don’t have sexual relations with THAT woman.
  • George W. Bush: YOU start an unjustified war for YOUR dad.
  • Donald J. Trump: YOU grab the steering wheel of YOUR limo from YOUR secret service agent to save the election YOU won.
  • Hillary Clinton: YOU aren’t PRESIDENT.

You see? Many of our favorite presidents were secretly controlled by a staff of aides and handlers! Give Biden a break! Come on, man!

Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He’s doing his best to keep his chin up.

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...