AUSTIN, TX — Elon Musk’s total net worth was cut in half Thursday after he took all 9 of his kids to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner and games. Musk, who is the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, reportedly spent over $4 billion on Skee-Ball alone and another $12 million to win a plastic lizard from the prize counter for his son, X AE A-XII.
“It’s important to instill a hard work ethic in your children, but it’s equally important to teach them to take a break and have fun. We can’t be serious all the time,” Musk told Audrey Williams, a Chuck E. Cheese server. “So we’ll have a pepperoni pizza, obviously.”
“Daaaaaaaaaaad!” his children complained.
“And three cheese pizzas,” Musk quickly added.
The family enjoyed live animatronic entertainment while they ate their pizzas before descending upon the game floor, where most of Musk’s money soon disappeared. The weary father resorted to throwing his children into the ball pit to keep from going broke.
Saxon and Damian spent most of their time playing whack-a-mole and shooting hoops while Griffin spent half a million dollars playing Dance Dance Revolution.
Elon Musk gave the beloved restaurant establishment a 5-star review on Yelp in which he described the pizza as “better than what they serve at the Vatican.”
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He’s doing his best to keep his chin up.