WASHINGTON,D.C. — After months of saying that he has no control over the price of gas, President Joe Biden is taking credit as prices dip by 2 cents. To highlight this monumental achievement, Biden has been placing “I did that!” stickers on gas pumps everywhere he goes.
“Look folks, this is 2 cents we’re talking about here. You think this kinda thing happens on its own? Malarkey! Read the stickers. I did that!” said Biden at a White House Press conference. “And remember Putin makes prices go up. Biden makes prices go down!”
Biden continued explaining that to achieve this, all he had to do was empty out our entire military’s fuel supply. He assured Americans that our military didn’t really need it anyway.
At publishing time more Biden “I did that!” stickers were found but they were spotted instead on high food prices, empty shelves, lines of unvaccinated troops being discharged, and the overrun southern border.
In a collaboration with The Babylon Bee, Professor Gorb McStevens lists all the countries where communism hasn’t turned into a totalitarian hellscape where you have to eat your dog.