CUPERTINO, CA — Humble PC technician Crisanto Peralta at Future Products Inc. was disheartened Thursday when he fixed the laptops of ten employees, but only one returned to say thank you.
The computers had been infected by a virus which corrupted their hard drive data. Cristano ran a quick virus scan and rebooted each machine, rendering them like new. As the employees returned to their desks, the laptops were cleansed and restored.
Juan Leppard, one of the desperate employees, returned immediately upon discovering that not only was the laptop operational but his data was intact. He ran through the halls, singing praises for information technology as he went. He reportedly fell on his face in thanks in front of Cristano, and offered to get the “computer wizard” some coffee.
“Were there not ten I helped? But the nine — where are they?” asked Cristano. “Was no one found who returned to give thanks, except this foreigner?”
“Whoa there, Cristano! I was born right here in Cali!” replied Mr. Leppard.
At publishing time, Cristano had been reprimanded by HR and ordered to attend three days of cultural sensitivity training.
In a collaboration with The Babylon Bee, Professor Gorb McStevens lists all the countries where communism hasn’t turned into a totalitarian hellscape where you have to eat your dog.