RENO, NV — Local woman Catherine Mayfield displayed her Christlike love for all parking spaces by driving past the other 99 perfectly good spots in search of the one closer to the front that is most likely already taken.

“When others enter the Target parking lot they will just go for the first reasonable spot they see, and give up on trying to find that 1 little spot at the front,” said Catherine Mayfield. “But not me, I leave the 99 behind and I never stop searching — even if I have to drive up and down every lane at a painstakingly slow stop-and-go speed!”

According to sources, Catherine’s husband Marcus claims that she spends far more time searching for the perfect spot than she would if she just went for a normal spot halfway down the parking lot. Catherine responded by saying that she is not content to settle for anything less until that lone parking space that is precious in her sight is found. “I am not willing that one of these little spaces should be neglected,” she said.

At publishing time, Catherine at last found the perfect spot that just so happened to be closest to the entrance, but it turned out to be a handicapped parking spot forcing Catherine to circle around again and continue her search.

In a collaboration with The Babylon Bee, Professor Gorb McStevens lists all the countries where communism hasn’t turned into a totalitarian hellscape where you have to eat your dog.

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...