CHATTANOOGA, TN — A recent report published by Apple, Inc. has confirmed what many assumed to be true since the iPhone was released in 2007: nearly all iCloud storage consists of fuzzy, out-of-focus, unidentifiable photos of the moon.

“We have had to double the number of iCloud servers every time some local newspaper mentions a blood moon, harvest moon, or blue moon,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook, “And my engineers have confirmed that none of your photos of the supermoon look very super.”

Cook added that Apple will gladly continue to charge iPhone users for extra iCloud storage of their crappy photos of the moon.

The report reveals that the remaining 20% of iCloud storage consists of photos of IKEA bookcases, fireworks, and accidental screenshots.

In a collaboration with The Babylon Bee, Professor Gorb McStevens lists all the countries where communism hasn’t turned into a totalitarian hellscape where you have to eat your dog.

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