Big Tech is cracking down! Facebook and Tik Tok have already banned the use of the word “groomer”, and this week Twitter followed suit, evidently perceiving “groomer” as a slur on the LGBTQ+ community. If you’re concerned that people who normalize sexualizing young children plan to escalate into more sinister activities, you still need a way to explain your concerns. To that end, here are some alternatives to the word “groomer!”
- 6r00mer — Sneak right past the algorithm!
- Minorphile — As a bonus, it sounds erudite.
- Public School Teacher — No offense to the several dozen non-grooming public school teachers out there.
- Person of Grooming — This is the politically correct term.
- –. .-. — — — . .-. — Morse code is one of the oldest tricks in the book.
- Roomer-Gay — Linguists say pig latin predates morse code — and it’s fancier!
- Gender Mentoring Advisor — To provide intimate counseling “away from the prying eyes of those pesky parents.”
- Epsteinian — For the local teacher hoping to out-Jeffrey Jeffrey by assembling an army of underage sex slaves.
- Child Abusist — It sounds so polite.
- Aunt Tifa — We’re not sure where the algorithm stands on blue-haired teachers who moonlight as communist pedophile thugs, but use this now in case Big Tech bans “Antifa” as a slur too!
- Windowless Van Aficionado — People who drive these to their “family-friendly drag reading events” probably hope to scale into less family-friendly territory.
- Genital Relocation Logistics Coordinator — The more inflated the title, the more likely it is you’re looking at a groomer.
- Politician — We all know what you’re up to, Congressman.
- Person who has age-inappropriate sexual conversations with other people’s kids for the purpose of preparing or training them to be more easily exploited by political idealogues, gender extremists, and pedophiles — If only there were a single word to describe that…
That’s it. Now go forth and call out groomers — or rather, Gender Inclusivity Education Professionals!
In a collaboration with The Babylon Bee, Professor Gorb McStevens lists all the countries where communism hasn’t turned into a totalitarian hellscape where you have to eat your dog.