WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden has vetoed the Inflation Reduction Act even before it could be passed by the House, explaining that there was no need for it since inflation was already at 0%.

“Listen, folks, we don’t need any bill to reduce inflation, because I already did it,” said the President to a reporter who looked an awful lot like his dog. “Lemme tell you some other things that there were zero of in July…”

Biden then explained that during the month of July there were zero humiliating Afghanistan withdrawals, zero newly discovered laptops, zero new Russian invasions, zero Smallpox outbreaks, and only three White House houseplants eaten by the President of the U.S.

Americans took a moment to celebrate Biden’s big news that inflation was at 0% before continuing to auction off some of their children to pay for food and gas.

At publishing time, lawmakers had banded together to override Biden’s veto and pass the Inflation Reduction Act since it had nothing to do with inflation reduction anyway.

Michael Simmons’ doctor tells him he’s obese and needs to lose some weight – but the patient has the perfect comeback: he’s pregnant!

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