https://babylonbee.com/news/priests-reveal-top-12-strangest-confessions/

Ever done something so completely bizarre and embarrassing, you feel like no one else could possibly relate? After a little cajoling, we got some priests to spill the beans on the weirdest confessions they have ever heard. All of these are one hundred percent real, and one hundred percent terrifying…there are some real freaks out there!

  1. “I was once kind to a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints” – Mortifying!
  2. “I accidentally used my wife’s conditioner in the shower and totally loved the way it made my hair feel” – Easy there, groomer.
  3. “I watched The Last Jedi twice” – It’s kind of scary to think these psychos are part of our society and we don’t know who they are.
  4. “I certified a national election and handed the reins of a great country over to an angry, demented septuagenarian” – We’ve all been there, let’s be honest.
  5. I tried a gluten-free soup at a friend’s house, and I didn’t completely hate it” – Shame! Shame!
  6. “I once paid for a Netflix account” – Ha! What a dummy!!
  7. I think Caitlyn Jenner is actually kind of hot” – Yeah, this guy needs a priest.
  8. “I was once mean to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez because I was mad that I couldn’t date her” – Holy crap, she was right all along!!
  9. “I wear workout clothes all the time so whenever it’s hot outside and I get sweaty, people will think I’ve been working out” – Pretty twisted.
  10. “Sometimes I pretend not to hear my children crying to see if my wife will take care of it” – Such depravity!
  11. “I skimmed a few boring parts in Lord of the Rings, like that Tom Bombadil section” – There’s not enough penance in the world for such behavior.
  12. “I once felt kind of sorry for Hunter Biden” – Sympathy? What a weirdo!!

We thank the kind priests who violated their vow of confidentiality to bring us this list. Perhaps you can relate to one of these confessions – if you’re a total loon!


FBI agents Scoulder and Mully hold a press conference where they reveal the incriminating evidence found in Trump’s safe. This raid was definitely justified.


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