WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a touching tribute, President Biden ordered “We Will Rock You” to be played full-blast throughout the Capitol to honor the late Queen.

“I thought about playing ‘Another One Bites The Dust’, but it didn’t quite feel right,” said a forlorn Biden. “Losing the Queen, this one is hitting hard. I still remember jamming out to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ during all those train trips ol’ Corn Pop and I took back and forth to Delaware. End of an era!”

President Biden delivered a message to the BBC, to be broadcast to all of England, in which he expressed his sorrow and pledged a billion dollars to AIDS research as a gesture of goodwill. “I went right to the computer and googled how Queen died, and I couldn’t believe my eyes – AIDS!” said President Biden. “I thought we’d licked that one! Well, England can rest easy knowing that Joe Biden is about to take the fight to AIDS.”

The White House has officially declared a weekend of mourning in America, during which time citizens are encouraged to dress in leather and watch that classic scene from Wayne’s World. A bicycle parade is also in the works, at the end of which all of the participants will turn in the direction of London and sing “We Are The Champions.”

Sources report that Biden had initially requested “Fat-Bottomed Girls” be played at the Capitol, but Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez felt it hit too close to home.

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