“Congrats. You discovered waves.” That’s the kind of kudos that experting scienceologist Chris Gloninger was being showered with this weekend for his truly remarkable Finding Out of Things using his keen powers of climate alarm.

You see, ol’ Chris — or “Archimedes of the Hamptons” as he’s known around the Zoom office (they are going to in person with masks next year) — posted a video from a beach that had increased wave activity thanks to Hurricane Fiona, one of the few such hurricanes this year but a devastating one for Puerto Rico.

Much less devastating were the waves intrepid internet weatherman Gloninger was able to bravely capture film of. But as my Nanna used to say: never let lack of alarm stop alarmism, Frederick. (Nanna was very fancy about names.)

And Glonny, as they call him around the other Zoom office (it’s possible judging by his photo he’s still in elementary school — or forbidden to be around one, I’m not sure which) — Glonny, I was saying, took Nanna’s message to heart and drummed up some devastating impact with the power of word saying.

The internet was sorely impressed of course.

Sadly, Big Joe had to put a damper on Mr. Gloningerm’s (as he is known around the hypochondriac message boards) doomthusiasm.

You’d think that’d be the end of it right?

OF COURSE YOU WOULDN’T THINK THAT. Nothing is ever the end of it online, right? I mean come on.

You see after about 17 billion people replied making fun of him (my counting computer was made by the people who make climate modeling computers), ol’ Gloominger (as he’s known at the parties he doesn’t get invited to) got all fussy britches about it.

I think he thought that was a clever burn. Wanting a term like mansplain for his own victimhood was his clever burn.

Then again he thought waves were global warming so I guess it makes sense he’s bad at gauging burns.

Anyhoo, I’ll say this for my new best friend: LOL.


Scoop on Parler | Scoop on Gettr | Scoop on TRUTH | Scoop on Rumble

Fred on Parler | Fred on Gettr | Fred on TRUTH | Fred on Rumble

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...