Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Terrell’s lost summer pursuing his dream of being a Zumba instructor was never spoken of again upon his return to the ashram.

Although Mitt Romney’s loss in the 2012 United States presidential election gave us another four years of His High Holiness the Lightbringer Barack Obama, a lot of conservatives are now thinking that we may have dodged a bullet. Three years of Romney in the Senate haven’t painted a pretty picture of what a Romney presidency might have been like.

Mittens masquerades as a man of deep principles. In reality, he’s a base political opportunist, no different from most politicians.

He’s also a guy who keeps his fellow Republicans looking over their shoulders.

Romney’s “principles” occasionally compel him to shiv other Republicans in the back. Lincoln has the story of Romney’s latest antic:

It was no surprise to me to learn that Utah’s answer to Liz Cheney, Mitt Romney (Can we just call him “Liz” Romney?), refused to give Lee his endorsement ahead of the midterms.

The Deseret News said that a campaign spokesman stated that the support included endorsements, donations, or expressions of support. The same article quoted Romney as saying, “I don’t think endorsements make any difference in a race to speak of. People in the race are my friends. I usually try and avoid situations where they’ve been friends. I may endorse and I may not, but I really haven’t given it any thought at this point.”

Mike Lee is the senior senator in Utah. An endorsement from the junior senator in the state would seem almost automatic. Lee’s opponent, however, is Evan McMullin, who is running as an independent.

McMullin, of course, was the Great White Hope of the frothing Never Trump crowd in 2016. Some future Lincoln Project types tried to sell the idea that McMullin had a chance to derail Trump. It was a convoluted dream that practically required importing ancient alchemists via time travel. Not surprisingly, the voters didn’t buy it. It’s amazing that he has backing now, given the fact that he stiffed most of the people who loaned him money in 2016.

Related: Moderate Republicans’ Stockholm Syndrome Relationship With Dems Has to End 

We are all aware that Romney is no fan of President Trump. No doubt his lack of willingness to endorse Lee is because of McMullin’s Never Trumpiness. Romney is smart enough though to not endorse McMullin. That would greatly deplete what political capital he still has with his fellow Republicans.

If the GOP should take back control of the Senate, they might want to propose a Romney-for-Manchin trade with the Dems. I’m only somewhat kidding there.

Yes, Mitt Romney is a solid vote most of the time. The problem with him is that he loves these moments where the left media fawns over him for doing something that irritates other Republicans. He relishes this kind of spotlight, which makes him completely untrustworthy. His “John McCain saves Obamacare” moment isn’t too far off.

The Republican party will never be able to accomplish anything significant until it purges what I like to call its “Romney Wing.” There is progress being made in that regard, but the wing’s namesake will eventually have to go.

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The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].

The Mailbox of Magnificence

Let’s see what’s popping out at me today. We’ll start with this note from Steve:

Hi Stephen,

It’s a bit sad that you can’t seem to find as many examples of heartwarming human behavior as you can of animals in your “Everything Isn’t Awful” segment. This human tends to relate more to other humans than he does to other types of beasts.

Sign of the times, I suppose. Write on, man.

You know, I’d like to share more of that too. A couple of my early sources for that began winding down along with the pandemic. Goodable still has some content that’s good but lately I have to read through a lot of “Rah-rah” stuff about climate. Also, let’s face it, the highest and best use of the internet always has been goofy cat pictures and videos.

Dale sent this in response to Wednesday’s MB:

I have a bantam rooster in my back yard who’s more presidential than JRB. You’re setting the bar pretty low…

I would pay to watch President LOLEightyonemillion debate a bantam rooster. It wouldn’t take long for Biden to defensively make up a story about having worked his way through college as a rooster and then drop an inappropriate line about a couple of coed chickens he knew. The MSM fact checks would be GLORIOUS.

Chris writes:

Thoughts on ” The Biden administration has both pettiness and vindictiveness in its mission statement.” —

The Biden & Harris Comedy Tour [tm] reminds me of a c.1970s comedian who once joked about the pro forma celebrity dinner speaker introductions:

Next up is a person who doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear”; who doesn’t know the meaning of the word “quit”. Well, truth be told, there are a whole LOT of words he doesn’t know the meaning of…”

To wit (or witless) — the clown car. middle school occupants currently leading our country.

You wound me, Chris. Having done stand-up for 40 years now, I can assure you that my easiest night on stage is harder than anything either of those mediocrities have done in their entire careers as politicians. Comedy takes skill, politics takes luck and a lot of a**-kissing.

The clown car comparison I like though. I once did a show (I think it was in Milwaukee) that had a bunch of Ringling Bros. clowns sitting up front in the audience. They were jerks. Let them be the symbols of the Biden-Harris disaster.

Side note: I remember doing a set at the Hollywood Improv when several Cirque du Soleil performers were in the audience. They were jerks too. I now have issues with all circus people.

We’ll finish with this from Momster:

OK, Kruiser…you finally did it!  I could resist no longer.  Your Sansabelt reference made me squirt hot coffee out of my nose.  I have not heard that word in many years.  It was so far down the memory-hole I never thought it would resurface.  But no, it bubbled up into your fertile mind and then bubbled my coffee right out my schnozz.  Ouch.

One doesn’t soon forget the trauma of repeatedly being subjected to do those ads in magazines during the 1970s. I think I burned all of my prom pictures because what we did to tuxedos then was a war crime. Two words for you: powder blue. Only the ’70s could have made the ’80s seem somewhat normal.

A spit-take is a high compliment indeed, and I thank you for it. Now let’s see what I can dig up to give you another snorter.

Thanks again, everyone. I’m getting quite a few emails that aren’t really fitting for the Mailbag segment but that I would like to respond to. There’s just not enough time for that yet. I’ll see if I can maybe set aside an hour a week for it.

Everything Isn’t Awful

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Become part of the PJ Media VIP party by subscribing here. Use promo code KRUISERMB to receive a 25% discount. Trust me, we’re having fun over here.

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