https://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2022/10/11/proud-gold-diggers-essay-about-her-fabulous-life-weirdly-doesnt-mention-what-she-likes-to-do-with-severed-pigs-heads/

Insider recently published a delightful as-told-to essay by a woman named Amber Lucas, who, after a great deal of research and dedication, has discovered a great way to see the world and learn a lot about herself in the process:

Apparently Amber had to kiss quite a few frogs before she finally started catching princes:

And from that moment, her life would never be the same.

Fortunately, Amber was able to rebound. Several times.

It’s nice that Amber found her niche in society as an unapologetic gold-digger who’s willing to potentially risk becoming a sex slave or murder victim if she can get a Birkin out of the deal. Not everyone is able to figure out their life’s real purpose while they’re still relatively young, let alone at any age.

Anyway, “unapologetic gold-digger” is actually a step up from how Amber usually spent her time, which was as a violent and unhinged left-wing rioter:

Oh hai, Amber. We almost didn’t recognize you.

Did one of Amber’s wealthy sugar daddies bail her out?

So weird that she left that out of her essay. It’s way more interesting than the jet-setting-Pretty-Woman stuff. Any lady can be a gold-digger, but it takes a very special kind of gal to get creative with a severed head.

Heh.

Anyway, we’ll wrap this up with a piece of advice for all the wealthy guys out there who match with Amber Lucas on dating apps:

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