MACON, GA — Having finally begun his read-through-the-Bible-In-A-Year plan in August, local man Lance LeShaun finally arrived at the passage in which God commands the Israelites to avoid their wives for 7 days when they are on their menstrual cycles. LeShaun has spontaneously praised God for His wisdom, sharing the effects that such sage guidance has had on his life.

“I never cease to marvel at the manifold glory of practical wisdom in divinely inspired Scripture!” LeShaun said to his son while both were hiding from Mom. “I don’t care what the scholars say, this isn’t ‘ceremonial law’ – this is good, old-fashioned common sense. Shh! She’s coming!”

Scholars often cite the distinction between moral law and ceremonial law when explaining the parts of the Torah that have the potential to confuse modern readers, but LeShaun contends that this passage is “just good sense.” LeShaun’s comments were condemned by LeShaun’s wife as “backward”, “un-progressive”, and “I’m not overreacting – you calm down!” right before they ran away to a remote cave in a forest.

At publishing time, LeShaun and his son were huddled in their cave, counting off the 7 days of ceremonial purity to be completed and marveling at God’s wisdom in Scripture together.

Can this liberal California couple handle a Texas cookout?

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