https://babylonbee.com/news/mehmet-oz-now-running-neck-and-neck-and-neck-with-john-fetterman/

PHILADELPHIA, PA — The coveted Pennsylvania Senate race is now a toss-up as Mehmet Oz is now running neck and neck and neck with John Fetterman. Fetterman’s lead has dwindled days ahead of midterms as he found himself neck-deep in concerns about his health.

“Mr. Fetterman is unconcerned with this unusual growth,” said Fetterman’s campaign manager referring to Mehmet Oz’s rising poll numbers and nothing else. “We’ve dealt with concerning bumps like this before. While polls make it appear Oz is breathing down Fetterman’s neck, our hunch is that it’s a temporary growth and nothing more.”

Mehmet Oz disagreed with his opponent’s diagnosis of the latest poll numbers, saying, “I’ll even stick my neck out and claim I have this race in the bag. The great people of Pennsylvania have had enough of Democratic leadership’s malignant corruption, and they want someone like me to excise it.”

While it’s true Oz’s popularity has swelled leading up to voting day, John Fetterman is still campaigning at a neck-breaking pace, hoping to win over a new lump of voters which could lead to a protuberant victory.


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