Can you apply social science analysis to judge whether certain progressive rock bands are any good? The Onion, which recently claimed in a filing to the U.S. Supreme Court that it is “the world’s leading news publication” with “a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and [is]  the single most powerful and influential organization in human history,” thinks you can. As usual, the findings appear inconclusive, requiring further study.

Scientists Still Unable To Determine Whether Yes A Good Band

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Following a three-decade-long, multimillion-dollar study to evaluate the progressive rock group’s music, a team of scientists at Harvard University announced Wednesday that they were no closer to determining if the British band Yes is good or not. “While deep sonic analysis reveals technically interesting aspects to the band’s discography—1971’s The Yes Album and 1983’s 90125, in particular—we continue to struggle in our efforts to conclusively demonstrate whether Yes is actually a decent band,” said head researcher Dr. Jeremy Loach. . .”

Well, there’s this perhaps:

Chaser—I dub this chart to be true and accurate!

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