So we didn’t get a Red Tsunami or a Red Wave … ABC News, we hate to admit, had it right when they said we might be seeing a “red mirage” on election night that would dissipate over the weeks as mail-in and dropbox ballots were tallied.

As Twitchy reported, President Joe Biden told Chinese dictator Xi Jinping that Democrats had “won,” while Republicans, who believe in “political violence and voter intimidation,” had lost. But Republicans did flip the House — barely, but it’s still a big f’n deal, as Biden would say.

Seven seats?

Yeah, we were shooting for 40.

We’ll take a projection, because who knows how many more days it will be until the votes are finally tallied. So much for the Democrats’ promise to codify Roe v. Wade if they held Congress. Missed it by that much.

Zeldin didn’t win the governorship, but he brought out Republican voters in New York.

So we’ll be getting a new Speaker? Someone’s going to have to pry the gavel out of Nancy Pelosi’s bony hands? That’s awesome.

Here’s to two years of glorious gridlock.


Editor’s Note: Republican voters deserve answers and accountability for the failed red wave.


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