If the Fetterman who was elected last week — and her husband — are John Fetterman 1.0, we’re thinking he should have stayed in beta testing. We’re as amazed as you are that Fetterman was elected senator; it couldn’t have hurt that tens of thousands of people voted before watching him finally debate Dr. Mehmet Oz. And yet, the New York Times is already advising Democrats on how to build Fetterman 2.0.
by Mary Shelley pic.twitter.com/xHCnH0icTO
— Liz Charboneau (@lizchar) November 15, 2022
Opinion | How Democrats Can Build a John Fetterman 2.0 – The New York Times
Does it involve Dr Frankenstein and human cadavers ? https://t.co/rRd6UuiGBP
— Steven Strauss (@Steven_Strauss) November 15, 2022
We were going to do a post on this yesterday, the same day Politico Magazine did its piece on how “Democrats don’t have to cede the politics of masculinity to the GOP.” “What’s notable about Fetterman’s masculinity,” opined Joan C. Williams, “is how it differs from the kind cultivated by Donald Trump and the GOP. Unlike Trump’s fragile, macho belligerence, Fetterman offers a sense of stoic decency and empathy.”
The Times never posted a tweet about their story, though, so we’ll go with the headline.
The beta tests are looking good so far pic.twitter.com/cdRUQY2FTF
— David is fine (@davidlanzrath) November 15, 2022
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic politician. John Fetterman 2.0 will be that man. Better than he was before. Better… stronger… taller… more resilient to winter.
— Gaurav Vaidya (@mrvaidya) November 15, 2022
All we need are some hoagies, a sweatshirt, shorts, and an understanding of the working class
— BlueBird Pi (@meelyn_pandit) November 16, 2022
The Modern Brometheus
— Zans McLachlan (@theRecentFuture) November 16, 2022
“As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hinderance to my speed, I resolved therefore to make a being of gigantic stature.”
— John Dellaporta (@JohnDellaporta) November 15, 2022
He’s tall, according to the Times:
No candidate can be replicated, and that is especially true of Mr. Fetterman. He is 6-foot-8 with a shaved head, multiple tattoos and a sartorial style that leans to hipster rustic. There are not a lot of other inked-up giants Democrats can put up for office — but Democrats can take these lessons from his winning campaign.
Mr. Fetterman’s style and appearance are the first things that set him apart. Neil Oxman, a Philadelphia consultant who has run more than a dozen statewide races, including those of the two-term governor Ed Rendell, said that “you can’t discount the look” — his signature outfit is a Carhartt hoodie and cargo shorts. Mr. Oxman noted: “It’s an entry. He can talk to blue-collar people in a way that other Democrats have been failing at.”
So that was his secret: the hoodie and gym shorts.
“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the ability to create the world’s first bionic Democrat…it’ll cost six million dollars, though”
— andrewsylvia (@andrewsylvia) November 16, 2022
— Gregg Di Chiara🇺🇦 (@gregg_d_in_nh) November 16, 2022
Is it about how to make a popular everyman, but this time with no actual positions favoring the working class or progressive ideas
— Richard III (@Mr_Richard) November 15, 2022
Simple. Two regular sized fellas in a hoodie.
— Magic H8 Ball h8s Christian Fascists. (@Post_USM) November 15, 2022
Did Frankenstein write this?
— Devin M. Bilski (@DevinMBilski) November 16, 2022
I thought Fetterman was Biden 2.0
— John Betts (@JohnFromCranber) November 16, 2022
— Nathaniel Downes (@downix) November 15, 2022
“Did you know John Fetterman was the name of the politician, not the monster?”
— Jeffrey “Elon Susk” Pinyan ✝️📖🍸💻 (@JeffPinyan) November 16, 2022
A lot of people get that mixed up.
— 1d6+4 Holiday Cheer Per Round (@egregiousknives) November 15, 2022
Unlike Fetterman 1.0, the next one will be animatronic, feature a more life-like face, and use modern AI to actually produce coherent sentences.
— T. Johansson (@thangbrandr) November 16, 2022
Dig up a dead body and you got John 2.0
— JW22 (@WillyMoPena) November 16, 2022
It’s going to be astounding to see Fetterman on the Senate floor. As he said, he’ll be better by January, but Oz will still be Oz.
New game: What is Senator-elect John Fetterman listening to? https://t.co/BE88SJW2Ee
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) November 12, 2022