For years, every time the holiday season rolls around, we’re reminded of the ongoing War on Christmas. It’s actually become kind of a joke (as well as a punchline) at this point. Despite what we’ve been told, it really hasn’t become some kind of crime to wish someone a “Merry Christmas,” and it’s OK for someone else to wish you a “Merry Christmas.” Most people don’t get bent out of shape either way, whether or not they celebrate Christmas.

But apparently all this time, there’s been another War on Christmas angle that we hadn’t considered. And it turns out that the reason we hadn’t considered it is that it’s insanely dumb and you’d have to be a complete idiot to ever come up with it.

And that brings us to Patrick Shyu, a former tech lead at Google and Meta as well as a YouTuber and social media personality. Like the relative handful of weirdos who genuinely have a problem with “Merry Christmas,” Patrick Shyu does as well. But his disdain for the phrase has nothing to do with Christianity or religion in general:

“Merry Christmas” is a pretty non-offensive greeting, actually.

Literally millions of Americans struggle with stress, depression, and mental health issues not just at Christmas, but all year long. And yet, we feel quite confident in saying that if we were to poll all of those people right now, an extreme few of them — if any at all — would respond that hearing the phrase “Merry Christmas” threatens to jeopardize their mental health or undo any progress they may have made. For eff’s sake, it’s just a nice thing you say to someone when you’re trying to do something nice.

And if you haven’t yet managed to figure that out, perhaps you have some mental health issues of your own.

Honestly, we’re not sure that a therapist could do someone like Patrick much good. A halfway decent therapist would look at Patrick’s tweet, roll their eyes, and laugh him right out of the office (or off of the telehealth call, as it were). That’s definitely what we’d do. Even his pillow should be reject his company.

See, now that’s a reasonable approach to this whole thing. If you’re the only one with the problem, then the odds are that you are the problem.

Well, just so you know, Jay, Patrick does not accept your “Merry Christmas” with any spirit whatsoever. Apparently he doesn’t need your “Merry Christmas,” thank you very much, because his Christmas is probably a hundred times better than yours, anyway, and if you knew just how great his Christmas was, you’d just be even more depressed.

Gee, thanks, Patrick. But ironically, you could’ve saved yourself from being ratio’d and dragged on Christmas if you’d just refrained from your stupid “Merry Christmas” take that literally nobody asked for and literally nobody will ever take seriously.

Oh, and Patrick? Merry Christmas.


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