My initial reaction to seeing the group called “Gays Against Groomers” come into existence last year was to pop some popcorn.

Then again, to be fair, you could replace the word “gay” with just about anything else and you would have my attention. Lumberjacks Against Groomers. Sign me up. Bolivia Against Groomers. Love that place. Shrimp Scampi Against Groomers. Delicious.

But with the whole Gays Against Groomers thing, we were in for an extra-special treat. We were going to see just how far self-awareness and critical thinking were prepared to go in reestablishing levels of decency and order that have been so quickly lost via godless propaganda. In other words, would the gays in question truly be willing to go all the way in diagnosing what you and I know to be obviously true about the genesis of the current gender-bending contagion – gay marriage – or would they ultimately plead the fifth and refuse to self-incriminate?

Well, we have our answer. And it is disappointing.

First let me say, though, that such a final verdict doesn’t mean I believe Gays Against Groomers to be a scam, ineffective, or unwelcome. Quite the contrary. The group’s absolute disgust for how children are being sacrificed in the volcano of perverse adult sexual gratification seems utterly genuine, as does their resolve to persist in upsetting the apple cart of the groomer cartel no matter how many names they are called or ways they are canceled. For that I am thankful. Our children need all the allies they can get in that regard.

Yet there has always been an aspect of the group’s advocacy that has stepped away from the defense of innocent children and focuses on a defense of itself instead. We had a great thing going by securing new “rights,” they say, but all this trans stuff is mucking up the works. Then earlier this week, that argument finally jumped the shark.

The Gays Against Groomers Twitter account posted a graphic of the new-style transgender flag and the original rainbow gay pride flag side by side. Under the transgender flag were the words “reject modernity.” Under the rainbow flag were the words “embrace tradition.”

This is the part of our story where self-awareness goes to die.

Let’s check the math, shall we? When people like me told gay marriage advocates that the “traditional” biblical definition of marriage was between one man and one woman, we were called haters, zealots, and bigots. But now that gay marriage has been on the historical scene for all of five seconds, we are meant to assent to it as a tradition as obvious and immortal as the tides or the rising and setting of the sun?

They can’t have it both ways, whether in the philosophical or, maybe even more importantly, the practical sense. For we live in a world where the band formerly known as “Born This Way” — which would infer a relatively static statistical comparison across generations – changed its name to “666 Genders” faster than you can say drag queen story hour.

According to Gallup, the share of American adults who identify as queer doubled from 2012 to 2021, and within Generation Z the LGBTQ population doubled in just four years – from 10.5 to 20.8 percent – between 2017 and 2021.

Hmm … let’s see. What could have happened that may have kick-started this not-remotely-born-this-way trend? Could it be the Varnum v. Brien state supreme court ruling that redefined marriage in my home state of Iowa in 2009? Or the steroid booster that and other state rulings received from the U.S. Supreme Court’s U.S. v. Windsor ruling in 2013?

Probably just a weird coincidence. Or, whether it be Gays Against Groomers or the many churches that now prioritize rainbow flags over the cross, it is the entire fricking point.

Not only does marriage have a very clear definition, but one of such cosmic importance that it simply can’t be compromised on any level. Otherwise you inevitably get what Federalist writer Anna James Zeigler recently observed on Twitter when confronting the latest in sex-based debauchery to cross her path: Sex between siblings.

“People are dunking on this woman who advertised that she is sleeping with her brother, & that’s fine, but this is where we are headed,” Zeigler said. “If Love is Love, then Love is Love. Maybe rethink states having the power to make a few marriage laws?”

Exactly right. There is no in-between on this issue. Either we are God’s or completely off the cliff. So be against the groomers by all means. I insist. Just make sure your asterisks or fine print don’t destine all of your hard work to failure in the end. Because the truth is that graphic from Gays Against Groomers is as true as it gets, just not for the reason they’re claiming. After all, the gender-bending mouth of madness we are descending into as a society didn’t appear out of nowhere via osmosis, but from the “tradition” of the original rainbow flag Gays Against Groomers wants to embrace.

Let us not have trans traditions any more than we have trans genders, for there is but one actual tradition here. One man. One woman. Till death do us part. The end.

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